Guess Who's NOT Coming to Dinner!

Want to know how to drive an Italian woman crazy?

Take away her oven.

Last weekend we had my brother and his family over for dinner. We were not expecting company for dinner, but as it is a no-brainer-like breathing-a place is always welcome (for ANY meal) at our table.

So, as I said- not expected, but that was ok...it was Sunday, meal prep would be easy, because EVERY Sunday is pasta in some shape or form in our house.  I had already taken the last of the frozen homemade sauce out of the freezer and instead of making macaroni, I decided to make a lasagna. I set the timer to preheat the oven and went about assembling while chatting with my daughter as she prepared the salad. I timed it perfectly...I had exactly one hour to cook and let it cool before company arrived. I whipped open the door and as I went to put the dish in the oven I said out loud

"Why is the oven cold?"

I looked at the control panel and it still read "PRE". Hmmm.

I asked my son to go get Dad. My husband came in and checked, pushed buttons, turned on burners, banged and double checked and said "Nope. It's "cooked", Bwaahaahaaahaa." Under normal circumstances, I would have found that punch line hysterical, but right now I am stressing. I can't freeze the dish because it won't fit in my freezer and I can't make a new pot of sauce because I don't have enough time. My neighbor saved me. I called her and asked:

Me: "Are you using your oven for dinner tonight?"

Friend: " No. We are having tacos."

Me: "I know this is going to sound crazy, but can I cook lasagna in your oven? Mine just bit the dust and I have company coming for dinner in an hour!"

Friend: "What should I set my oven to?"

I *so* owe her a bottle of wine!

My husband grabbed the dish and drove it down.

While the next 60 minutes ticked by, I went down to the laundry area and started a new load. Oh, and did I tell you that my washing machine is now on the fritz too? Uh, yeah.

Want to know how else to drive an Italian woman crazy?

Take away her washing machine.

For two weeks now, I have had to turn the dial a certain way and then hold it on while the cycle begins. If I don't, it won't agitate. Gremlins. I just had them here for a visit for my dryer, when the Laundry Fairy Returned as Gremlin!

And the third?? Because you know everything happens in three's...

Take away her dishwasher.

The night before we would learn about our oven, I turned on my dishwasher and it made the most horrible noise. I opened the door and checked to make sure nothing was blocking anything. Not that I could see. Turned it back on and "GGGGGGRRRRRUUUUMMMMPPP". The sound actually woke my husband and he came down from bed like the Grinch- "Noise! Noise! Noise!?" I pointed to the dishwasher and he opened the door and could not find anything either.

The next morning I checked carefully and pulled out a piece of thin plastic....the top of a tortilla package that you rip off the top. How the heck did it get in there? Gremlins.

Can't they find another house to party in?

Between the washing machine, dishwasher and now my oven, they have definitely overstayed their welcome. For the record...Gremlins are NOT welcome at my dinner table!

Luckily, my brother and his family are cute and not mischievous in any way and we were able to sit down to a nice homemade meal, something I hope we can do again soon.

How does an Italian woman get her revenge on Gremlins?

She starts with lots of garlic, a novena and a repair man. If that doesn't work, she braves the waters of the appliance store, salesman and all and buys a new one!

Damn Gremlins.